Differently

If you knew better, you’d do better? Of course we would, who would not? I often say I have no regrets, I made the decisions I made at the time based on what I knew, how I saw the world, or other circumstances. I cannot say I was always right but I own up to it, but I realize what is done is done. People like to look back at their lives and wonder if a decision they made would have turned out differently if the chose option B. I say that is futile. Your decisions, your experiences make who up your person. That relationship that went bad, a job that went sideways, a financial decision that backfired, all made who you are today and helped you learn and grow.

Most of us probably need more coaching and mentors growing up. We need organizations where young people can be around trusted adults that they are not related to for advice or counsel. We  also probably need to spend more time developing our own character and our own set of values. These are hard things to do in today’s modern world. But, the best advice I heard was when you were not sure what to do, rely on your values to guide your way.

Some people often need their hand held, and that is because they are used to it. I have always been independent because I have had to be. However, I have found immense value in seeking out the wisdom and learning from the experiences of others. Observation becomes incredibly powerful when you learn how to assess people. There are great communicators who do not think deeply enough, great thinkers who do not communicate enough, and the rare person who can do both. Some people are just naturally good at things, some are not, but should adapt to a growth mindset to get them where they want to be.

Thinking about doing things differently in the past may give us comfort as we try to sort out our feelings and assessments, but at the end of the day, they are part of us and shape who we are today and can be accepted, regardless of the outcomes.