Thoughts on the Act of Reflection

I require a lot of time for reflection. I am also finding that I am not allocating enough space for it. My life is so busy that it is difficult to find a time that I can let my mind wander and think about things. There is work, grad school, kid’s events, home repairs and maintenance. There is too much. Society likes to promote being fully engaged as the mark of a high achiever, but maybe we need more time to unplug and think, to put things into perspective, to lay in a quiet room and look at the ceiling. Or, to go for a long meandering walk alone or even gas up the vehicle and go for a long drive to nowhere important.

Luckily I have a very intelligent, pragmatic wife that can help me assess situations, however, I make most of my toughest decisions alone. I need to get away and assess. I remember a lone camping trip, one I booked because I was overwhelmed and needed time to think. At the time, I had been offered a 50 week contract and 50 week bonus from my employer as an incentive to keep me on. They were shutting down our division but wanted me to stay until they transitioned to a new operating model in a new locale, one that I was not to join. I had to decide, do I take the contract or do I look for another job? What happens if they end the contract and the bonus is prorated down? What happens if I cannot find a job after the contract period and the bonus goes to bills? I had two kids in daycare at the time and a high cash burn rate because of it. I had to be alone and have a good discussion with myself. Just the act of setting up camp, preparing a meal, and writing down all of my thoughts was enough to break my locked mind. I did not even need to spend the night. I packed up before dark and left. Ultimately, I chose to forgo the bonus and found a new role instead, and things worked out well for me in the end.

Perhaps we all need to take more time to think, to put down the phones and devices, to unplug for a bit with nothing more than a pen and a notebook and just start hashing things out with ourselves. It is great to have someone we can rely on, or a group of people to talk to, but sometimes we just need to hash things out via our own counsel. We can ask ourselves – are we on the right path? Am I taking care of myself? Am I taking care of others? What is missing in my life? What needs to be missing in my life? Sometimes these are important questions that need to be asked, and we need to dedicate time to actually think them through.