Staying Home

Staying Home

If you won the lottery, what would you do with it? Many people say they’d quit their jobs and travel. Some people say they’d buy land where they could play. Others would buy luxury items or hire celebrities to spend time with them. What if I told you my fantasy was to not leave my house for six months? Yeah, that sounds weird. People always look at me strangely when I tell them I fantasize about being a shut in. I would just lock the door and not leave the house for half a year. Why in the hell would anyone do that? Let me tell you!

Reading Catch Up

How great would it be to have time to get all of your reading done? I am a very curious person, and as of right now I have probably three dozen titles I want to read on subjects ranging from technology to business to history. I am also, unfortunately, a slow reader who favors non-fiction, so I’ve enlisted my friends at Audible for books to listen to while driving to work. However, with some of these biographies that go 40 hours + (damn you Chernow!) I’m even behind in that too. Wouldn’t it be great just to sit down on a comfy couch and spend eight hours a day researching whatever interested you?

Video Games Galore

I have too many video games that I don’t play. It’s ridiculous. I keep getting baited by Steam “Summer” and “Winter” sales. If you’re not familiar, they discount the hell out of some really great titles and I just can’t help myself. Oh, Mortal Kombat for 70% off although I haven’t touched Street Fighter IV yet? Sure, why not!

I would love to play all of my video games from beginning to end until I got my fill of them. This means for long clips at a time, not the three hours I normally get on a weekend night, but to just sit down and blast out every Fallout or Assassin’s Creed like it’s my job. Maybe I could even be a Twitch streamer?

Binge Watching

My Prime and Netflix accounts have watchlists that will never get cleaned out in a million years. The average American watches five hours of TV a day. I’m lucky if I get that in a week. The only way I can watch anything is if I download an episode to my iPhone and watch it at work during lunch, or those two hours Sunday night when everyone is in bed and I watch an episode of Game of Thrones. And there’s so much great stuff to watch too. Prime has all of these HBO series on like the Wire I’d love to see. Netflix has a boatload of series that look awesome. I’d just sit around for days watching TV in my underwear not giving a shit.

Home Projects

I have a newer house but there’s as ton I want to get done in here. I have a huge basement that I’d love to finish. All through this house I’ve lined up little customizations I’ve wanted to do. More lighting, built in bookshelves, flooring etc. I could pay someone to do it but what’s the fun in that? Spending all that time in your house enables you to really get to know it. It’s like a recent retiree who spends time fixing up his house and when you visit him everything is neat and in its place. That’s how I’d love my house to be. Since I’m a shut in I’d have to get all of my materials delivered, so maybe I’ll get all the planning done before I lock the door for good.

Other Projects

I have so many other smaller projects. First off I’d get this blog caught up. I’d also get a ton of fly tying in and my fly rod kits finished so when my six month self-imposed exile is up I can go straight out to fish. I’d finally sit down and learn how to use all my camera and video equipment in and out. I’d also cook a ton and try some new techniques like bread baking and fresh pasta making. I could also limit my life to nothing beyond my yard, then I could garden and have fresh vegetables! The latter would be most enjoyable because I tend to get too busy to work my garden and everything gets knocked out by bugs or something. It would be awesome to just work one out all year and see what it could produce.

How I’d Do It

Luckily being a shut-in today is super easy. Amazon will ship whatever you want to your house. Uber Eats and Door Dash can hook you up with that food craving you can’t shake. There’s a ton of online services that can get you games, books, or videos to watch. But you want to go bulk on as much as possible. I’d fill my downstairs freezer and load the shelves with canned goods, toilet paper, and other dry goods. I’d have beer too, lots and lots of beer. My family would be here too, so I’d always have someone to run out and grab something if the going got tough.


Part of me wondered what it would be like if I just limited myself to my yard. At least I could get some gardening in and work on the outside. If I didn’t, I ‘d have to hire landscapers. I wondered what it would be like to not take your trash out and having to clean everything and fold it up nicely as to not make much room, like you’re living in outer space or something. But I’d want to take out my garbage so I’ll say my sidewalk is out of bounds. Three other people live with me, which is helpful because shutting yourself in is probably ungodly lonely. I think loneliness is the worst human condition so I’m thankful they’d be here too. They can also go up to the store and get me gas for the lawnmower, so that’s a win. Maybe I am wired to live in Alaska, where you go crazy outside for six months fishing and shooting everything in sight to get meat for the winter, where you don’t leave the house for six months. Maybe I should just pack up and move north?

Icicles on Pagoda
Icicles on Pagoda